Wedding Practices of Today
In this day and age, when values of modern people tend to be based more on materialistic objects and aesthetically pleasing environments, rather than superstitions and traditions, weddings have become a much more personal event based solely on the individual tastes and requirements of the bride and groom to be.
Some traditional aspects are still honoured in today’s modern weddings, but these have been altered and modernised so as they can be more easily incorporated into the more lavish, stylish and unique ceremonies we now prefer.
In the following pages, you will find information relating to many aspects of the modern wedding like the way proposals and engagements have changed over the years as well as details about the planning of the wedding from the payment and stationary to the vows and speeches.
You will also find that the foods and flowers used in today’s celebrations are more suited to the more personal taste and style of the couple, as well as the budget they have to spend.
The jobs of some of the people involved in the wedding has also changed, meaning that the role of best man now has not as much responsibility as he did in the days when he was to support both the bride and the groom, as the bride now has her own chief bridesmaid to help with her preparations and to keep things in order on the big day.
One of the most fun responsibilities for the best man and chief bridesmaid is to organise the stag and hen nights which have got significantly more wild and adventurous over the years.
Engagement
Even from the first stages of courtship, things are done very differently today in comparison to the days when a hawthorn branch was used to propose.
These changes have made the job of proposing much more of a personal affair as although it is usually a good idea to get along with the prospective in-laws, it is no longer required to gain the approval of the family before you may get engaged, which must be a great relief for many of the grooms of today.
Nowadays, the man doesn’t even have to be the one to propose with more and more women deciding to take the initiative and pop the question themselves. This is traditionally done in a leap year on February the 29th.
The engagement period usually lasts between 6 -18 months. At least 6 months is generally needed to make all the arrangements for the wedding and obviously this is going to be a lot longer if you are planning a particularly complex or large wedding.
Traditionally diamonds are the favourite stones for the engagement ring but these days’ people are going for more colourful options and choosing your birthstone is becoming ever more popular.
Birthstones
Brides are choosing to give their fiancés an engagement gift in return these days which is usually something like a signet ring, gold chain or cuff link.
Who Pays
In past times it was always the parent which paid for the wedding but in time when people are getting settled first and getting married later in life, it is now becoming much more common for people to pay for their own as they are generally much more settled and well off than they would have been.
Around 30% of parents do still pay for their Childs wedding, and 50% pay for their own with 15% are paid for with joint contributions from other family members also.
The cost of your average wedding at the moment is around £11,000. This is just or your standard wedding, if you are deciding to have a particularly extravagant of large wedding it may well be a lot more than this which is why is very important to budget and plan your wedding carefully and responsibly. Here are some tips:
It is a good idea to set a price that you can afford and write it down along with plans of where the money will be allocated and stick to it.
When shopping it is always worth doing a little bartering, like asking for a small percentage off if you pay now in cash. Don’t ask for too much though, remember you usually get what you pay for and if you are getting a service very cheap it may not be up to the s
tandards it would be for a higher paying customer.
Don’t show too much excitement when looking at a product as companies are less likely to barter if they think you will but it anyway.Find our when the quietest times are for a business and but then as they will be much more in eager for your custom.
Always make sure you get receipts, especially when paying cash.
Stationary
Once you have set the date for your wedding and decided upon a budget guest list you now have to use a number of different stationary items to inform and invite your guests to the appropriate part of your day.
When it comes to the invitations etc, you could end up spending a large amount of money having them all made and sent, but you can also download templates to make your own at home, you can then personalise they exactly how you would like for a lower cost but also remember the time it may take, if you haven’t got long until the wedding it may be best to have them made elsewhere as you will have a lot of other preparations to fulfil.
Here is a list of all the stationary needs and what for:
Save the date- Send in advance to make sure potential guests keep the day free.
Invitations-Send these 6-8 weeks before the wedding to ensure there is plenty o time to receive the replies.
Evening invitation-These are for the guests that are not attending the ceremony and is just to invite them to the reception.
Acceptance- These are given to the guests so they may respond to the invitation.
Order of service-These are to be given at the ceremony so the guests will be able to follow the hymns and readings.
Thank you- Send these to guests to thank them for the gifts.
Place cards- These will sit on the tables so the guests can find where they are to be seated.
Stag/Hen Night
As the years go buy stag and hen nights are becoming more and more outrageous and inventive. They are rarely had on the night before the wedding as they traditionally were because people just can’t go out like that and then make it to their wedding the next day and enjoy it. Also people are now setting aside whole weekends for their celebrations are getting more and more adventurous so they end up needing a break afterwards.
It should be the bride and groom who decide roughly what they want to do for the hen/stag party i.e., nightclub, adventure trip, bar, but once they have decided it is up to the best man and chief bridesmaid to organise the finer details on their own so as to keep an element of surprise.
Here are some of the more popular suggestions for the celebrations:
Hen nights
Stag nights
If you do decide to plan a more elaborate weekend away you must also consider whether your friends can afford to go and will they have the time, be able to get time off work etc...
The best man
The best man is usually the grooms closest friend or family member and must be someone who you trust as the job of best man comes with lots of responsibilities and shouldn’t be taken too lightly.
Below is a list of some of the main things the best man is responsible for:
Helping with the grooms decisions and planning of the wedding (well, if the bride allows him to have a say)
Helping the groom choose his ushers and the outfits for them, as ell as his own.
Arranging the stag party, but not letting the groom get stripped, tied or handcuffed to anything.
Checking the parking and facilities at the venue
Making sure the groom has all he needs for his honeymoon, i.e. tickets, passports
Safeguarding the rings
Accompanying the chief bridesmaid to the vestry after the ceremony for the signing of the register.
Organising everyone for the photographs
Lastly one of his most important and scary duties is to make a speech at the reception.
Chief Bridesmaid
The chief bridesmaid, or maid of honour if she is married is usually chosen from one of the brides close friends or family members and is to be involved in most aspects of the wedding planning and preparation so she is to be the brides personal assistant throughout the planning and the wedding itself and right up until the couple return from the honeymoon.
Here is a list of what she is responsible for:
Planning the wedding with the bride
Having a big input into the choosing of the bridesmaids and the dresses and accessories they will wear.
Organising the hen night and making sure the bride to be gets through it in one piece.
Getting the people involved to get together for photos and to the reception
When the bride changes into her leaving outfit, the chief bridesmaid must take care of the dress as well as her own and the other bridesmaids dresses and if they are rented she has to return them whilst the couple are on the honeymoon.
Vows
It is now becoming more and more popular for couples to write their own wedding vows, providing they are having a civil ceremony, as they will have much more personal meaning to the couple and can make their wedding that little bit more special.
When deciding to write your own vows, it is always a good idea to check this through with the minister you have booked as they won’t always approve and you may need to ask for someone else to perform the ceremony.
When it comes to the actual writing it is usually best to stick to similar wording and content as traditional vows because ministers, friends and family really don’t need to hear about things such as your first night together etc... Keep it simple and classy.
Here are a few well used words which may help link parts of your vows together:
Promise Pledge Endeavour Devotion Eternally
Speeches
Making a good speech is an important and equally nerve racking part of any wedding ceremony for the specially chosen people involved.
Traditionally, the groom, best man, and father of the bride are the ones who must prepare and present a speech for the big day but these days it is also common for the chief bridesmaid and even the bride to make speeches as well.
The order of the speeches should go as follows:
-
Father of the bride
-
Groom
-
Best man
-
Chief bridesmaid and bride if required.
When preparing a speech it is always a good idea to keep it short and sweet. A few words about the couple and their life together in a tasteful and respective manor will usually be enough. If you do however choose to write a more in depth and personal speech, just remember to keep it clean. The bride and groom are not going to forgive you if you embarrass them on their wedding day.
